Why Is Your Mask Shinier Than Mine?

THE MISSING “SECRET” OF POWERFUL COMMUNICATION.

In the world around us, Communication always ends up being an exchange of words and ideas.

They say something.

We respond.

They re-respond.

We re-re-respond.

The ping-pong continues till one of the two hits a fault or a winner.

Whether it is our personal lives with our close ones, or in a global setting, we rarely pause to think that Communication is probably more than exchange of words or thoughts or expressions.

Whether it is about our personal lives or the world order, the true purpose of Communication is to create a desired change.

Sounding out words DOESN’T ever change ANYTHING.

Communication has a very precise dynamics, creates very precise impacts, and if we do not understand this, it would be the equivalent of randomly throwing stones at a far away target, and crying foul and blaming the target for not getting hit on it’s own accord, because “that is the fair and just thing to do”.

It is OUR responsibility to aim at the target with the right precision and intensity, so that we are able to hit it with sufficient momentum to knock it over.

A very least understood idea in the world of Communication is “Reference Frames“.

All communication happens in the reference frame of one of the participating agents.

The one who sets the reference frame wins by default. Regardless of what happens later. 

The one who gets sucked into others’ reference frames has lost it before he begins.

You CANNOT have a winning position in a communication exchange in somebody else’s reference frame.

We will discuss this in detail in upcoming posts, but for now, I can simply state, in very approximate words – the moment you start complaining,  defending, fighting, protesting, exposing or whining, moaning, grumbling, complaining – doing anything driven by and as a reaction of another person’s statement, whether reacting for or against, you have been sucked into their reference frames, and now you have no option but to dance to their tune.

Those who whine, moan, grumble, complain – and yet WIN – they manage to do so, because they do these as a “FINE ART”, not as a helpless reaction of a woefully incompetent weak individual or society.

For the simplicity of this discussion, especially in the context of political setups, you can loosely define the “reference frame” as an “agenda“.

In any social or political setup, in any place that involves different parties vying for our mental space, there are always two types of groups:

– those who set the agenda

– those who address/oppose/fight against the agenda set by others.

There are “initiators” and then there are the “reactors“.

You can brush through any number of years, decades, centuries or millennia, you will see that any battle of agendas, narratives and propagators are won by the “initiators”.

The one who sets the agenda wins by default. Nothing in the world can allow those in the reactive mode.

You CANNOT win a communication while functioning in others’ “reference frames”.

Between the original voice and an echo, who is more likely to take the driving seat?

Those who set the agenda takes a sustainable lead right in the first stride.

Especially, if the other party responds by “reacting” to this agenda, and fighting against this agenda, the war is over. The battle may continue nominally for a while more, but the outcome has already been decided and frozen and to those who can hear – clearly and unambiguously declated.

If you look at the current world scenario, there is a very clear cut indication on who is setting the agenda world-wide (especially in India), and is walking away easily with all the trophies and medallions of war, regardless of all half-truths and blatant-lies.

How is the other side responding?

Here is a sample –

“Where is the media now?”

“Where was media then?”

“Why is media not reporting it?”

“Why is nobody talking about it?”

“What are you not speaking about it?”

“When X did something, you made it international news. When Y has done the same thing, why are you silent now?”

“Where is A? Where is B? Where is C? Where is D? Why are they hiding? Why are they not speaking?”

You got it. This side is permanently whining, complaining, moaning, groaning, playing victim, flaunting helplessness, flaunting injustice.

Just think of it – when anybody makes statements like these, who are they addressing it to?

Who do they have in mind who will come forward and resolve the issue?

Who do they expect to take up their grouse and “start speaking for them” or “deliver justice to them“?

Given the level of polarization in the world, there is a very high chance that no matter what issue you pick up, everyone in the world falls in just one of the two categories –

Those WITH you, and

Those AGAINST you.

There are very few fence-sitters or authentically neutral people.

Those WITH you are already WITH you, and additional whining is not going to influence them any further.

Those AGAINST you are already AGAINST you, and no matter how much you whine and appeal to their sense of humanity and justice, they are not going to budge an inch.

All this approach does is to induce a collective moaning. Nothing brings people closer than a sense of shared injustice. However, apart from increasing the cacophony of mass-wailing, this approach DOES NOT and CAN NOT achieve ANYTHING. It doesn’t even result in half-a-step forward towards destroying the agenda they so vehemently pretend to be fighting against.

History is always written by winners, not by the “moaners of defeat”. No matter how loudly you moan and how gloriously you flaunt your wounds.

There is very clearly one side in the world that is setting, defining and ruling the agendas in the world.

The whole trend of the “Woke” walking away with the narrative for a new world order is extremely dangerous for the world, but unfortunately, they are going to win the narrative without any competition – for the simple reason that those on the other side are simply handing it over.

Those standing up against the Wokes in any social or political dimension are simply dealing with the Wokism through collective moaning of unfairness and injustice.

And what is this other side usually moaning about?

They are complaining that they are not able to successfully play victim as easily as the first side is.

In a sense, they are bemoaning their own bad acting skills, and envying the great acting skills of the other side.

In other words, this side is complaining out load and hoarse – “Why are your masks shinier than ours? Why is nobody looking at our masks?”

Till we are just reacting to other people’s agendas without setting our own and executing it,

Till we keep getting sucked into their reference frames,

there is not a one in a billion chance that we would ever reach anywhere.

We stand no chance till we master the art of busting other people’s reference frames and setting up our own.

Communication is a fine art. It is won by gaining precision, not by gaining control over the “volume” knob.

The Battle of Masks cannot be won by trying to don a shinier mask. 

Yes, they are stupid, but they will still win it hands down and rule the world!!! Because we are being stupider.

Either we “WAKE” up in time, and deal with the ongoing narratives with finesse, or else we should be prepared to be “WOKEd” up in no time.